The way things are going now,
I’m not sure they are going
to get any better in my lifetime,
I have to make that filthy
tunnel as livable
and purposeful as I can,
and must learn to see
in the dark
like one of the nocturnal animals
who for safety reasons
and to hunt for food,
must only come out at night,
when its killers are asleep,
and truthfully, part of me
doesn’t want to make it any better
for the next,
since it’s the next generation
that is the reason for why
things are declining,
or maybe a combination of the next
and what came before,
lots of money for power’s sake
combined with a who-gives-a-hoot
kind of attitude,
the what came before promising
to save all of us
but keeping everything for itself,
the what that comes next
half-expecting to be bailed out
by everything and everyone.
Meanwhile the what we’re
actually dealing with now,
which is who I am,
does whatever it can to survive,
while relying as little as possible
on anybody for support,
strives for work-life balance
and staying under the radar
of what came before
and what comes next,
since both will get jealous
for their own reasons
and make life worse
for those of us in this actual now,
it’s like I’m trapped
in a dark tunnel
where both exits lead to death,
so, to live as fully as I can
and remain relatively sane,
I must choose abandonment,
and will have to learn to see
the light from the moon shining
down on a pool of rain water
and my own urine
as a kind of family member,
I’ll have to learn to love
and find refuge in the power of water,
the condensation left coating
the mind after a day
of exceptionally warm thoughts,
any little mirror.
poems