Softener

In a way, the fight I fight with myself every day 
is the fight to not feel like I have to fight,
In a way, getting up every morning 
and writing a poem before heading off to a day job 
is like putting on war paint 
and calling on gods of fire for protection,
In a way, looking out the window 
and feeling a sense of longing and betrayal, 
is the way a tortured and fractured ego 
thinks of its equally shattered mother missing it,
In a way, eating a pizza 
like it is the last thing you will do on earth before dying 
is like invoking the spirit of a grandmother 
atop slices of memory and warmth,
In a way, working with children with disabilities 
is the same as working with your child self 
who still feels incapable,
In a way, living and being alone 
is communing with the godliness and wisdom 
of the original self,
In a way, having the runs for months 
is like expelling people and locations 
that disgust and threaten you at great cost,
In a way, having a crush is like taking in a view 
from atop a mountain and beside a dead lover 
you still idolize,
In a way, farting on the toilet is like exiting a 
building during a false alarm,
In a way, wincing when you sit up 
because your back hurts, 
is like praying to an ocean of emptiness 
for a help up,
In a way, going to therapy every two weeks 
is like making a phone call to 
and having a conversation with 
a friend pre-flip phone, 
In a way, going to war is like having a tantrum 
over there being no cookies left in the jar, 
and catching your sibling eating the last one,
In a way, driving is like taking a cat nap 
before having to get to work,
In a way, the blanket you use to cuddle up with 
while watching TV 
is like the uterine lining you cuddled up inside 
while inside your mother,
In a way, watching a horror movie 
and not being able to sleep well because of it 
is like communing with your own shadow 
and trusting it to take you for a walk 
as if you were its dog on a leash,
In a way, having sex is like discovering 
a part of yourself you didn’t realize 
you could penetrate to,
In a way, having a friend to spend the day with 
is like going back to when you were a child 
and you looked up to people 
who were more outgoing than you,
In a way, playing with ants beneath a mailbox 
is like preparing yourself for a deep dive 
into uncertainty,
In a way, recognizing you’re an empath 
is like returning a plate of cold food to the kitchen,
In a way, sleeping is like trusting someone 
to have your back should insurgents arrive,
In a way, jumping up and down for no reason 
or simply because doing so is nonsensical 
is like a cat zooming down a hallway 
following a good out.